remember when Andy scored among the highest ever on the aptitude test for becoming a police officer but then was denied because the interview showed that he was too kind and trusting and empathetic to be a cop
everyone involved should be put in jail for murder
People never cease to amuse me
(Source: The Onion)
The blackest bird there ever was. It’s black on the outside from head to toe, and black on the inside with its meat and organs.
It’s called the Ayam Cemani from Indonesia, and they’re $2,500 a pop. Their bones are black, too. The only part of them that’s not black is their blood
I would have aced biology if the teachers all taught the course like the narrator
sex education at its finest
"so do tampons make girls feel like they’re having sex all the time?"
"It’s every month?"
"I thought it just lasted a couple years"
"It can go for 5 days in a row?!?!"
"Why don’t guys uteruses shed?"
*upon seeing a pad* “Why did someone flatten this tampon?”
oh what the fresh hell
Parenting done right
Like fiery eyeball thing, no problem. But don’t even try to imagine a Samoan elf. (x)
You could say I’m an optimist.
theres nothing sexier than a guy playing guitar
a girl playing guitar
a tyrannosaurus rex playing guitar, struggling to strum with its tiny arms, fueled by rage and an inner desire to Rock